SMU’s treatment of mental health is notorious on campus, so when I saw that the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness was putting on a massively-marketed mental health event, I knew it would be worth a story. A few minutes worth of googling revealed the guest speaker to be an Instagram model with a loosely social-media-hating platform, which I found to be deliciously ironic. I attended the entirety of Ms. Larissa May’s (Larz) talk and was amazed by how eloquently she managed to provide no useful advice, while all the while promoting her own brand. I wrote the piece below as a representation of what Larz must really be thinking, hoping to bring attention to the Office of Health Promotion’s waste of resources.